Holy crap, I have a blog! Would you look at that….
I guess it’s time to come back from my long, unintended hiatus with a masterful post, a deluge of new content, and a heaping helping of run-on sentences (I guarantee only one of those three). Let’s get started! …with something that has little to nothing to do with college! Woooooo
Which era are we in now? It’s not modern, I know that much. As little sense as it makes, I know we’ve already reached at least post-modern, so we’re at the very least past that. Anyway, it seems as though we have entered the post-post-post-apocalyptic-modern era where simplicity reigns and creativity has gone straight out the door. I’m talking about logos, people. LOGOS!!!
Logos are like, really freaking important and stuff, man. They *are* the very identity of the product or company since it’s usually the first thing we think of or at least identify. For little kids that can’t read, even just the very shape can be recognizable as long as its memorable. …d…did you see that? I said memorable. As in creative. I’m gonna say those words again in italics in-case you didn’t understand. I said memorable and creative. Ok? No wait, let’s do it again in bold and capitals too. MEMORABLE and CREATIVE.
I’m repeating those words because apparently companies have forgotten them. In their effort to seem post-quasi-metaphysical-modern, they’ve abandoned the character of their old logos. Forgoing character…in order to make room for “segoe” and…I dunno, “arial” or something. Shit fonts, basically. Boring….shitty fonts.
Maybe I’m just a product of the 90′s. And maybe I’ll end up failing all my advertising classes. But I like my logos to have some color. Some swirl. Some shading, maybe. Basically, something that wouldn’t be easily duplicated simply by choosing the correct font in Microsoft Word. Which, conveniently brings me to my first victim:
Microsoft.
Here was their previous logo:
…and here is their new logo:
….alright. So we’ve got a multi-colored box that I guess is a representation of Windows. Alright, I can dig that. Windows really are more boxy like that than the curvy thing that was supposed to be Windows over at Windows 7, etc. This even works with their new metro interface on Windows 8 (ok, it’s no longer referred to as “metro,” but since they never gave it back a real name, I’m calling it that).
But the logo typeface. My god. That is painfully normal. And grey. Who do they think they are, Apple? Seriously, this just screams copy-cat. At the very least, unoriginal. When I see Microsoft’s new logo, I think of Apple’s stuff. Like, look at this:
It’s not the same by any means, but it has grey and simple font as its driving force. Same with Microsoft. Close enough to make my gut reaction “APPLE!” at the very least.
Now, I get that Microsoft wants to modernize itself. But it had a cool swirly sort of look before. It was especially well pulled-off with its game studio:
Dang. I’m sorry, but I really like this logo. It just looks exactly like a cutting edge professional technology company made a game studio. I’m going to miss this logo.
Next victim:
eBay
Old logo:
Alright. Not entirely indicative of what they do, but I suppose the variety of colors and how they are laid out do show the diversity of what’s sold, as well as possibly evoking a feeling of ups and downs…similar to prices when bidding goes on. Overall, a solid logo.
Now, the new one?:
It’s shit. It’s the same thing, but worse. You can’t have a straight line of multi-colored, simple-looking letters like this. That’s Google’s territory. I…I really have nothing more to add here. It’s just…no. You guys could learn a lesson from…
Tropicana
Old packaging:
New:
“Now wait a minute…” You’re probably saying. “This new packaging is more ‘shit’ than that new eBay logo you were just slamming. What gives?” Well, my dear disembodied voice of reason, I’m mentioning this packaging in a positive light because of what Tropicana did after putting it out: they took it back. That’s right, after losing sales because they looked like the grocery store’s generic brand instead of the top dog it was once, they decided to change back. They changed too much, and in a terrible way too. The old (and, well, current again) packaging is about as iconic as it gets for orange juice. An orange with a straw in it. What could be more fresh than a brand with that on the package? Nothing. And I’m guessing a good portion of Tropicana’s sales can be owed to that packaging. You don’t go changing a good thing. Because when you do, you get:
Cousin’s Subs
Old logo:
It had a golden sort of yellow, making you almost taste this “better bread” they talked about in their slogan. The font of the “Cousins” gave you that home-made, countryish sort of vibe. Country may not be everyone’s favorite type of music, but the word “country” and the word “music” are usually the perfect combination. But I shouldn’t forget to mention the solid red of the typeface, signifying a bold, hearty taste. MMMM, I just want to eat Cousin’s right now when I see this logo. Now let’s look at their new logo!
New logo:
Holy fucking shit that’s so bad I think I just lost all the appetite I just got from the last logo. I…wow. They really fucked this up, I’m sorry. It’s bad. It’s so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cousins’s Subs are in financial trouble thanks to this. …actually, now that I think about it, I swear I haven’t seen as many as I used to…
Ahem, anyway. Yeah. What makes this logo so bad? Well, let’s start with the background. It’s like your typical yellow gradient isn’t it? But why is it a gradient? What is this supposed to evoke in me? What’s with the yellow they chose? That’s not a bread color. And not any kind of mustard I like either. It’s nothing. It’s a pointless change for the sake of change. Same with the font. Why did it change to this? I guess it’s “crisper” which I guess might signify “freshness” or some crap like that, but I don’t buy it. It looks like it’s for a financial firm or something. Actually, that “C” looks perfect for “Cost Cutters,” let’s give it to them for a new logo. Point is–it’s not a food font. It doesn’t belong. It has no personality. Wait a minute though…the border…is that a hint of green I see in addition to the black there was before? Why? For lettuce? Are you kidding? I…wait. I just realized what this reminds me of. It’s like those shitty Word fonts people used. You know, in 3rd grade? When you needed a fancy looking title that could take up a bunch of room? Yeah. This shitty, tri-color scheme of genericness reminds me of that. Terrible. Just terrible.
Before I wrap up, let’s quickly look at one last company,
Wendy’s
Old logo:
New logo:
This…works. I guess. It’s not great. It’s certainly not an upgrade. But on the same level of decentness? I suppose so. I preferred the old-fashioned idea. Those square patties and old-fashioned burger ideals were what made me respect Wendy’s back in the day. But respect doesn’t always attract customers. And this new logo might do the trick. It’s…friendly looking, I guess. The wavy, hand-written sort of font feels welcoming. You feel like you’re going to get a meal prepared just for you here; hot and fresh and ready to disappear inside of you.
Wait…what’s with her face. It looked friendly at first, but now….now I just see….
…creepy eyes staring at you when you sleep. Waiting for the right moment to eat you….
*shiver*
Well, I’m done here. Time to have some nightmares.
Nobody ever said buying textbooks was easy. At least, not if you actually try and get a good deal (rather than choose to get robbed by the University Bookstore). So naturally, when it came time to buy books for this semester, I shopped around online to compare prices. For once, perhaps I shouldn’t have.
You see, I had MATH 1031, or “College Algebra & Probability” this semester. For that class, I needed what the University’s site told me was “Pkg2 College Algebra, Custom 8th, And S/m, 8th.”
Uh….ok. Whatever the hell that means. All I knew was that I didn’t want to buy it from the bookstore since it was $115.85 new and $87.00 used.
Alright, so surely I can find this elsewhere through the ISBN “9781285264585″? …right? Nope. It seemed that because it’s a special bundle of the book and solutions manual, the ISBN was unique and exclusive to the University Bookstore.
Ok, no problem. I’ll just find a College Algebra book, 8th edition, by the same author. Which was listed as “Kaufmann.” How hard could it be?
So, I went to Amazon.com, my online store of choice since my family has free 2-day shipping from them. But typing in “College Algebra Kaufmann” lead to some confusing results. Whatever the case, it seemed that the eighth edition was not the newest one. I found what seemed to be a steal of “Algebra for College Students By Kaufmann & Schwitters (8th, Eight Edition)” for about $10 from a 3rd party seller.
This seemed too good to be true. So I emailed my professor with the details of the book. She replied saying that it was the correct one.
Well, lucky me! So I went and bought both that and the student solutions manual for a total price of about $20. Dang, I wouldn’t have imagined I’d get my math texts for so cheap, but I did. All was well.
…flash-forward to the present. Guess what?
The professor and every student in class had a book with a different cover.
Ok, no problem, maybe it’s still the same somehow.
Well…the title was different. Mine was “Algebra for College Students” and their’s was “College Algebra.”
What!? Well, ok, maybe they got the newer edition.
*looks at their books* “Eighth Edition”
*looks at mine* “Eighth Edition”
Huh? Different authors?
*looks at their books* “Jerome E. Kaufmann – Karen L. Schwitters”
*looks at mine* “Jerome E. Kaufmann – Karen L. Schwitters”
H-how….? OK, maybe they are the same then?
*looks inside my book and theirs*
Um….the layout is extremely similar. Some of the questions are basically the same. But numbers and several other small things are different.
WHAT THE HELL!??? Is my book from a freaking alternate universe? What is this shit?
My only explanation is that this is greed on the authors’/the university’s/the publisher’s part. They made a “University of Minnesota” exclusive edition to suck money out of students. I could have gotten by with my lovely $20 bundle, but just now shelled out the $115.85 to the freaking bookstore in order to have the right problems for homework (no, there were no used ones or rentals).
This is all greedy, ridiculous, and just plain bullshit. Whoever is responsible for this needs to be called out on it so that’s why I made this post.
Here are picture comparisons of the covers just to give an image to all this (bookstore one still in shrink wrap till I hear back from my professor about the books):
Well, well, well. Here we are again. Back at school. Back to the daily grind. Back to all that junk.
And well, that’s fine I guess. No major problem with that. Some stuff we learn is honestly kind of cool. Some people we interact with are honestly kind of cool. BUT.
What I would just rather not deal with that always has to happen every year is the meeting of new people. “OH LOOK, LOOK AT HIS ANTI-SOCIAL JERK THAT HATES PEOPLE!!” you might say. No, it’s not like that. Not quite. I’m talking about meeting with people and going through all that interaction crap to just not even end up talking again. Seriously, what the hell’s the point.
Example:
I’m at breakfast eating with some people I already know and am friends with. We are having a conversation already.
New people come in and ask to sit. All conversation must either completely change or be altered to adhere to these people who would otherwise be lost.
Now new conversation starts. Basic conversation. The only kind of conversation you can really have with people you don’t know much about. So there’s the exchange of names and majors. Perhaps interests are brought up, but if nothing passionate is in common quickly, that can lead to a dead end.
The meal ends and everyone heads their separate ways and never have a conversation with each other again.
…
…you…you catch that last part? NEVER HAVE A CONVERSATION AGAIN. Because nothing interesting came of meeting each other the first time!
And this happens over and over and OVER again in the first week or so of class. It happens in classrooms, in the dining halls, on buses; you name it.
And it’s tiring. Oh so tiring. I DON’T CARE what your major is! I WON’T REMEMBER your name! I’m sorry, it’s more me than you, but please, the chances of us becoming friends is slim to none. You know how many friends I have? Not all that many (on purpose I should note)! Well, ok, on Facebook like 200 or whatever, but still not as much as most people my age! You’re not getting in that easy! I actually need to see you, talk to you, and like you on a semi-regular basis. And know your name. That kinda helps.
But I won’t remember it unless I have a reason to. Unless you have some freakishly memorable name or you do something really memorable right away, I won’t remember you and you won’t remember me either.
Basically, I say all this because these conversations are so BORING. It’s like reading a freaking resume, or worse, a student directory. “Oh, so you say you’re a freshman (but technically a super-senior in credits), took a bajillion classes in some thing I have no knowledge of, are majoring in something I don’t know, live in Schlock Hall 4252pq345 and have an annoying personality upon first impression? Please, do tell me more. No seriously, please, I don’t need to hear that shit, tell me stuff beyond that I might care about.”
….and THAT’S why everyone loves me. For my friendly and accepting personality! ….right, guys?
….guys?
One and a half months since my last actual blog-like blog post. Long enough, I suppose. And now’s a good a time as ever since my first year of college is in its final week and I still have things to complain about as well as reminisce on. Let’s go!:
So, stairs. I live on the fourth floor out of twelve here in Middlebrook Hall’s tower. That means going down the stairs is a cinch and going up the stairs takes just long enough to be a bit of a pain in the arse. Personally, I like going up the stairs since I feel as though that excuses me from ever working out during the school year and I don’t feel as guilty eating a lot at the dining hall, but many other people on the floor feel otherwise. They like to use the elevators of which there are three (at least, when they aren’t broken/vandalized).
Alright, so what? They can use the elevator if they really want to, the lazy bastards. If they get fat because of it, that’s their own problem. Well…thing is, that’s not how people above the fourth floor see things. If you go in the elevator and so much as get the nerve to light up the “4″ with your grubby finger after the other guy who got on before you pushed “12,” you are the spawn of Satan himself and should be damned for eternity as punishment for your crimes against humanity. I’m serious too. If anyone on, ohh, I’d say 5 and below takes the elevator with people from above, they are bound to catch shit (usually behind their backs) 9 times out of 10. …ok, more like 1 time out of 10, but that’s still quite a bit! And for real 9 times out of 10 if you are going DOWN from the fourth. Hey, Mr.I’m-12th-and-obviously-deserve-this-elevator-so-much-more-than-you-because-I-pay-so-much-more-for-these-services, maybe my leg is injured or maybe I’m sick, or maybe my backpack is painfully heavy or some shit. You don’t know me! You don’t know my life! If I want to be a lazy asshole who actually has no legitimate reason to take the elevator th-wait, shit.
No, I’m trying to criticize the people on my floor who take the elevator. Well, ok, I kind of am. But I mean, they can sometimes take it. But if they ALWAYS take the elevator, then I have a problem. We are fucking college students. This is like, the prime of our physical condition or some shit like that. You can at least take the stairs DOWN. Gravity does all the freaking work for you, and it’s about the same amount of time since you usually have to wait for the elevator anyway. Now, if it’s the middle of the night, then fine, nobody is in a rush and you can take your fancy-dancy-loopdy-lopdy elevator like the fancy-pants you are. Just please, don’t give this floor a bad name by always making people stop on this floor for no legitimate reason other than laziness. Although, at least we’re better than some of those people who take the elevator from like 10th to 8th or something.
Oh, but speaking of stairs. Am I the only one who finds stairs kind of…awkward sometimes? When you’re walking behind someone going up, it’s like you’re in direct line with their freaking ass and it personally makes me uncomfortable. Like, if I look straight ahead, I am literally just seeing butt. So, I try not to walk close. But then it’s slow and it’s not like other people follow my lead. Sometimes they’re behind me, right in my rear, making me feel uncomfortable that way. Maybe I’m missing something? Do people not have a problem with this? Are people avoiding this problem somehow? I mean, yeah, I look to the side and not straight ahead when I’m right behind someone, but that’s only so I don’t have to be looking at their butt. Otherwise, I would be! And that’s just….awkward, I dunno.
And stairs aren’t perfect when you’re alone, either. There’s almost never perfect stairs. Sometimes they’re too steep and you feel like you’ll die unless you take your time with them. Sometimes they are an awkward size so that taking one step at a time is too slow and taking two steps at a time is too big and silly looking (not to mention, it messes with my jive, maaaan). And then there are those stairs that are totally open. Like, they’re just planks sitting there and are otherwise not one solid structure and you can stick your leg through and everything. Those. Are terrible. Maybe it’s just my semi-fear of heights, but I feel like I’m just gonna misstep and slip right through them, tumbling below. *shiver*
But that’s enough about stairs. This wouldn’t be a typical blog post without a commentary on bathrooms. And guess what? They always mange to find their wealth of problems since I’ve got some new ones right here:
Trash. Apparently, some people don’t like changing the garbage bags in their room. Or maybe they never noticed those garbage bins are in their room. Maybe they didn’t know maids don’t come into rooms to change the bags out so they just have one bag from the beginning of the year, sitting their with like 9-month old rubbish rotting luxuriously in a sauna of smell and unruly liquids, waiting to be thrown out. And so they throw everything away in the fucking bathroom trashcan. What. The. Actual. Fuck. I don’t want to go to the bathroom and smell, and then see a bunch of old, half-eaten food in the trashcan. It’s not very appealing to see or smell while I’m just trying to do what I do in the bathroom. And it takes up room so I can’t throw away anything else. Ugh. The bathrooms the girls tend to use here don’t usually have quite the same problem. Instead, they just throw the remains of their..girl..er..productsnear the trashcan. Seriously? The bag isn’t full yet. You can still stuff stuff in there. And yet you just toss it on the floor, so people who aren’t neat around the sink can get water all over it and so there can be soaked, disgusting garbage everywhere imaginable. Blech.
Locks. I can’t express how thankful I am for the invention of the lock because apparently people here don’t know what it means when the bathroom door is closed and the light is ON. No seriously, I’ll just be in the bathroom, minding my own business, doing whatevs, when suddenly there’s a *boom, boom, click, click, calump, calump* as I hear some apparently throw their body wildly against the door, attempt to turn the knob a few times too many, and then try pulling the door off its hinges, all without even asking if someone is in there. WHAT. It’s not THAT common for the door to be closed and for the light to be on and for nobody to be in there. Like, 99 times out of 100, that is NEVER the case. Usually, someone is in there, and usually, they aren’t in a condition in which they would like to be seen, hence the door being closed and the lock being fucking turned so morons like you won’t just stumble on in! And so you can imagine my worry when some bathrooms in my wing suddenly were missing their locks last night and this morning. I had to use the “girl” (not really) bathroom with all the lovely products on the ground since that one didn’t have its lock abducted in the middle of the night by…bathroom pranksters? Seriously, who takes a lock. Maybe it was planned for replacement, since they were newly replaced just a few hours before posting this, but then why not take them off and put new ones on all at the same time rather than hours and hours apart so people can be investigated by any stranger who wishes to come in?
I’m sorry, gotta stop now, I’m too traumatized by simply the thought of this. Maybe I’ll post some sentimental junk about parting ways with people here some other time. Or never. Who knows.
I decided to still do the “photo a day” thing. But the photos are on my tumblr blog since that’s more graphic-oriented. Written stuff will be here on wordpress.
Here’s a link to my pictures: http://suspiciouslygeneric.tumblr.com/tagged/photography
EDIT: Wait, no I lied. I think my friends on tumblr are going to get confused if my change my name so it’s back to mattnoyb. Here’s the current, correct, working link: http://mattnoyb.tumblr.com/tagged/photography
Before I begin, let me just quickly add a few things to my bucket list of mundane things other people have done but I somehow haven’t and so should:
-Eaten a Corn Dog: Well, until recently that is. Until that point, I had only had hot dogs, which I think are all right. Corn dogs (at least the ones here) are pretty freaking bad. I don’t regret not having them before.
-Dipped an Oreo in Milk: Maybe I just have a really bad memory, but regardless, this does seem like the kind of thing I would avoid as a child for whatever reason. Maybe because the milk would make the cookie soggy. Maybe because I didn’t like Oreos as much as the pale version of Oreos, shown below (which Oreos have since copied as “Golden Oreos”). Maybe because I greatly preferred chocolate milk to regular milk, but felt the chocolate milk wouldn’t work well for dipping something with already lots of chocolate. I dunno. I just never did.
This stuff's pretty "boss", as the cool kids might say
Anyway…
It’s been pretty warm here lately. Like, REALLY warm. A few days ago, it was winter and almost 80. In Minnesota. I WAS WEARING SHORTS AND HAD A FAN BLOWING AT ME.
It was pretty weird. But wait–I could have just turned on the air conditioner and escaped from all that heat and humidity…right? NOPE. The whole building was still delivering the heat. They could just switch it over to air conditioning…right? Well, just read this excerpt from an email I got:
“Because freezing temperatures would cause complications to the switching process [switching from heating to cooling], the water [for the process] must be added only when temperatures are consistently above freezing.
Please be aware that until this transition takes place, usually the first part of May, we have limited options for bringing cool air into our buildings. As the outside temperatures reach over 60 degrees, we anticipate that some areas may experience uncomfortable temperatures. Open your window and if you don’t know how to turn the fan off on your heating/cooling unit, ask your CA, you hot, miserable SOB! HAHAHAHAHAAHA
Love,
Stephanie & Gavin – Resident People Who Want to Literally Make Your Life a Living Hell”
…well, alright, maybe that last bit there was creative liberty, but the rest is real! May. We have to suffer through like 80 degree heat and humidity until then!? HOW WILL I GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP IN THIS SAUNA!?
But really, it’s actually pretty alright right now. It’s been rainy and 60s, basically outside. Making it like 70 and still a little humid inside, but it’s a step-up from before at least.
…
Hmm…I’m finding it a bit hard to find stuff to rant about for some reason. I could rant about some people, but I prefer not to make personal attacks (at least until I can figure out how to block some people from this site *wink*). I could also rant about problems regarding myself, but that’s not particularly interesting. I could rant about my teachers I guess, but any problems I have with them are more “eh” then “I FUGGING HATE YOU” and again, that’s not much fun to read. …I guess I could just rant about how I’m ranting about nothing right now. Like, seriously, what the hell? Who the hell rants about having nothing to complain about? Oh-oh-you want something to whine about? THERE! How ’bout some stains on your shirt? Whatcha gonna do ’bout it? …oh, just…just change into a new shirt, huh?
That’s a true story, though. I really did get a stain on my shirt today. It was pretty upsetting, bro. Like, I almost wanted to rant about it. But then I didn’t.
…
My God, I think I’ve run out of material for this blog. There hasn’t been a decent post in a while. It’s just been me rambling. And not even funny rambling. Rambling alone does not funny make. …well, it was fun everybody! See you in a few months when I finally have something actually amusing to write about!
“And so, upon Matt listening back on a recorded conversation, he realized that his voice had not in fact gotten deeper over the years as he had hoped/thought, but had instead remained in stasis for the past few years and probably would for the foreseeable future. And then he started wearing a Darth Vader mask to cover up this fact. Everywhere. Every. Single. Day. The end.” OK, so it’s really not that big of a deal, but it just feels weird to know I’m walking around with a different voice than I thought I was. Although everyone seems to experience this. I hear people all the time (after watching/listening to a recording) say stuff like,
“OMG, is that what my voice really sounds like!?”
And it totally makes sense. All day, everyday, we seem to be able to see what we look like. We have mirrors and cameras and phones to help make sure we don’t all unknowingly look like monsters. To a certain extent we can even tell how we smell. But how we sound? Pssh, good luck being reminded of that on a daily or weekly basis. People everywhere are walking around with voices they don’t even know they have.
At least, that’s my hypothesis. I actually kind of want to just record everyone I see and play back to them stuff, just to see if they react surprised or not to their voice. But they can’t know. If people know they are being recorded for a purpose, things change. I know I (unconsciously?) seem to do this when I’m recording voice-overs for videos I make. Heck, I think when I was touching up noise stuff in a past video, I took the liberty of also deepening my voice because, you know, voice-over dudes have low voices.
And in real life, apparently my voice is only low if I consciously make it so. At least that’s what I discovered upon listening to a conversation I had recorded as an interview for sociology. How unfortunately unfortunate. And I know it probably isn’t the iPhone I was using distorting things, because my interviewee sounds pretty much like how she sounds in real life.
But it’s weird. I’ve been told just like a few months ago that my voice is pretty deep and manly. Did I have a sore throat then? Was I unconsciously trying to sound a certain way? Or is this the same voice I used during the interview? So many questions….and I could have answers if my roommate wasn’t in the room right now. Dammit, I want to talk high and low into my microphone without looking like a weirdo! Is that too much to ask!? …thank God Spring Break starts this weekend.
“But wait!” you may say. “What does it matter if you have a high or low voice? You’re perfect just the way you are!”
“Well how sweet of you,” I may reply back. “But…I wanna sound cool. And have a big deep voice…like a cool person.”
“But that’s a horri-”
“A cool person. Like Morgan Freeman.”
“Well there’s no arguing with that.”
I rest my case.
